Sumue nye da terjadi. Aku mengumpul semangat untok berterus terang dgn dier.. Tanpa pengetahuan BFF. Setelah aku mendapat advice dari BFF baru la aku bersemangat. Tapi bff suroh aku jumpe baru aku bilang yang sebenarnye. Tetapi, aku, aku tak berani. Instead aku bilang dier thru msg. & I didnt even tell Bff what happen. Aku tak berani.. Hmm , aku tak sangka dier begitu memahami situasi aku.. Memang betul lah dier seorang yang sangat sangat baik. Aku harap dier tak bersedihan terlalu lama. Sekarang , aku raser sedap hati sikit. All i need to do now is just concentrating on my studies. Tapi aku bilang dier kalau jodoh kite , tak kan kemana. Aku betul betul minta maaf pade kau. Aku tak nak leave kau hanging and berharap. Itu je. Aku sendiri tak tau klau betul betul aku cinta kan kau.. Youre being such an understanding person. Thank you soo much! Hmmm, aku betul betul harap dier okay.. Maaf!

Eyy bingit je aku. ader ke aku kene pekik dengan nurdiqa and natassya! Da baik tu aku tolong cuci kipas tok natassya pasal kalau tk nnti confirm chop chop bibik marah kan dier. Instead aku dapat shitty attitude from both of then. siak betul! I took over their chores sia! Dasar due due tau keje buat taik mate aje!! Haishhh. Tak pasal2 kene tengking nan si singa. Aku baru habiz cuci kipas ni. Next up sepatu nye lipat kain baju la kan. But to nnti la. Petang sikit leyy buat. Aku tak tau nk baca buku or tgk kau laksana bulan. Si hujah la ni buat aku addicted to malay drama. Hehehe.. Hmmm, Malam plak aku gosok baju baju skola.. Skrng aku tengah confuse nak bace buku ataupon tgk drama dan sambil deciding tu aku tgh dengar lagu lagu gemersik kalbu:) Sejuk sikit hati ni dengar lagu lagu tu. Heheehhehe! Ok la. Jumpe bile biler nanti la ye. Got to go!

Okayy.. Aku baru balik jugak la ye. Hmmm, sepatutnye aku balik tros nk gosok baju tok besok then try test steps to phase test. Tapi badan aku sungguh malas dan nk dudok sekejap la ye. Hehe! Hmm. Ader banyak bende yg aku tk sure dengan diri aku sendiri. Sekarang aku baru je tukar baju dan sementara menulis ni aku dengar radio. Haissh, ni Hujah la ni buat aku nk dengar radio.. Hmm , aku dikatakan stress, tk la sangat. Tapi aku confuse dengan diri aku ni. Aku tau ape yang aku buat tk adil untok dier. Taking him for granted.. Aku tk tau kenape tapi aku macam da malas nk ader relantionship or falling in love. Aku tak tau mcm maner nk explain. Aku tak raser ader orang paham.. Actually aku macam nk focus giler babi dalam skola.. Bff asyik tanye aku , do i really love him? Aku , sebenarnye , tak tau ape jawapan nye.. Aku ckp aku love dier tapi kenape perangai aku gini towards dier. Aku nampka dier betol2 sayang kan aku. Aku yang salah! Aku tak patut mulakan kalau aku tau yang ni akan jadi macam ni. Aku malas nk fkir tentang lelaki. Aku malas nk fikir tentang seseorang dlm hidup aku.. Macam maner ni. Aku , aku buntu. Tak de sesiape yang get maksod aku. Aku nk make it over tapi at the same time aku tk nk hurt dier. Dier rela tunggu aku habez test seme. Aku raser aku just giving reasons. Tests as a reason. Such an idiotic and lame reason. Sebenarnye, yang benar aku malas nk bercinta cintu sejak skola start.. Macam mane ni! What the hell am i going to do? Aku tau aku mean. Tapii..... Urghhhh.. Seriously aku nk lepas kan but aku takot. Macam maner? ape patut aku buat. Just like Jah and Bff cakap. He is a nice guy. But I just dont wanna think about love life selagi aku tengah blaja ni. Asal la dulu aku gatal sangat ni? Aku da kasi orang harapan and now aku nak belah gitu je? Tak masok akal kan.. Haisshh.. Ader orang bole tolong tk? Hmmm, aku raser tkd org pon tengah bace aku nyer blog ni. Haishh.. Sepatutnye aku kene concentrate on besok nyer phase test.. Yang aku fikir fikir pasal ni pon aku tak tau kenape.. Adoii.. Harus aku start gosok baju then , ingat steps untok phase test. Okay la. pergi dulu la ye. Will be back:)

I don't know why she has been finding faults with me whenever i'm home. I hate it! Macam tadi. Ajak aku kuar. Dengan nenek. But i'm tired! I just came back from 2 day 1 night camp yesterday. Some more I need to study for my Bio class test! She just don't understand! Cakap aku lepak & kuar bole. Penat tu alasan aje. Irritating kan! & dulu kalau aku ajak dier jumpe nenek, dier slalu cakap penat aku tk bnyk songeh pon. Geramnye! She makes me feel like i don't want t go home early anymore! when ever i'm home ader je nk cari pasal. Ikot kn hati aku nk slalu sepnd time blaja kat library. Dah malam baru aku balik. Benci btol aku bile dier cari pasal! Sudah la. Tk gune berbual psl dier yg tk paham kite. K la nk lipat kain baju la. Planning to go library later to study. Bt house chores must be done first! Adios!

Its been long! Really. Hmm.. Few things have changed. I'm currently no longer working. Now i'm schooling in ITE (like again) but in different course. I'm in nursing course now. It's been 1 month since I start school. everything is good. Just that there are test that I have to study for now. Kind of miss writting on this blog:) Things that has not change about me is obviously reading novel.. hahaa! I'm still addicted to reading novel. But not till the extend of not focusing on my studies tho. Ohh yea, sharing abit about my classmates, they are awesome people. & my days are much more happier with my BFF around, nur shereen binti sahat:)

Niari hari yg paling binget yg aku hadapi.. I know it wasnt my fault soo aku akan teros diam..
Aku tau ni ego.. Tpi tetap aku tk salah.. Dier tk tau yg dier nyer perkataan yg kuar dari mulot dier lagi menyakit kan hati org.. Soo demoralising.. Aper org tk bole berubah per seperna bulan ramadhan ni... Aku geram btol nan dier.. Raser tk sampai hati nk diqm je tpi tetap aku geram sngt2!!

Ohh yeah.. Aku teringt.. Smlm selepas 7 bulan aku tk nmpk dier in tge end samalam aku nmpk dier.. Dekat plak tu.. Jantong auzubillah.. Cume allah je tau mcm maner aku raser smlm.. Btw bulan ramadhan ni bnyk cobaan seyy.. Aku harus bertenang menhadapi semua cobaan tu.. Amin:))

Tgh break nii.. Mcm cepat gtu time jln..

Alot of things have happened within a week. Srry for not updating:) Today is my Father's birthday. We went to eat at Carousel (not to sure if its the right spelling). Had to work morning but my kind ASM kasik balek 3pm. Hehehe! Soo went fr high tea with baba , my sisters and nenek to celebrate father's 48 birthday. Wahhh soo damn delicious la the food.It was a treat from kak iqa and me:) Eventho father's birthday this year is not the same as last year as mother was not around with us, we still manage to have fun with nenek and father :) Father was very handsome just now. hehehe! after eating send nenek home & father send us home. Food & the time spent together was awesome overall!